Are you willing to be a beginner?
Because a willingness to do things you aren’t already good at is key to your growth
Building on the theme from my previous post, if you did set yourself some goals for this year, how are you getting on? Great? OK? Still avoiding starting? Or are you more “Goals? What goals?” :)
Often our goals will involve developing a new skill, or using an existing skill in a new context. After all, if you can already do something, and do it easily, does it need to be a goal? Or do you just need to get on with it!
It’s common to find this process a bit uncomfortable, and for a bit of resistance to come up. Wanting something, and being willing to do what it takes to have it, are two different things. I wanted to explore one element of resistance that comes up - that of being a beginner again.
As a high achiever (and yes, I do mean you) mostly likely you’ve got used to being pretty good at things. Whether that’s being at the top of the class at school and passing all your exams, or being the go-to person on your subject at work, or simply feeling comfortable that you know how to do your job, and do it well.
The further we go through our life and our career, the less frequently we do things as a beginner. Being rubbish at things is no fun. It’s frustrating, and it feels embarrassing, especially in front of people who respect us (and who we want to continue to respect us!).
So we try and project the idea that we have everything handled, and we avoid doing things which might reveal our perceived deficiencies.
The problem? It fundamentally limits your growth.
Growth inherently involves trying something new or different, and you won’t always immediately be good at those things.
If you resist being a beginner, you’ll probably avoid starting, or if you do, you’ll grind away in secret with the shame of not yet having the skill fully honed. It’s a slow, lonely way to learn, if you even get that far.
But, what about if you embraced being a beginner?
Because that’s exactly what you are, and that’s OK.
From that place there is freedom. Freedom to play, have fun, experiment. Freedom to get support and advice. Freedom from shame and hiding. Freedom to embrace the process of practice and maybe even enjoy it?!
After all, probably the only person who thinks you should already know how to do something is you…!
You can learn new things at any time in your life if you’re willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you.
Barbara Sher
Sweating the small stuff
This week: Try a completely brand new skill
Keep it outside a work context if you need to, but do something this week that you have never done before. Bonus points if it is something you secretly think you might be terrible at, and if you do it with other people :)
Do a pottery class. Throw a frisbee. Bake a cake. Learn to do a handstand. Draw a picture. It doesn’t matter what it is, it’s the experience that counts.
Remind yourself that the world won’t end and no one will think any less of you. Laugh at your terribleness. Remember what it feels like to learn a brand new skill.
Then take that awareness back to work. Practise. Have that challenging conversation. Speak up in that meeting. Hold that person to account. Do one thing you’ve been avoiding that moves you towards your goals.
What are you willing to be a beginner at? Join the conversation by leaving a comment below.
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Photo by Afif Ramdhasuma on Unsplash