What it really means to bring a mindset of curiosity
It’s talked about a lot, but do you know what it looks like in practice?
Hello, and happy Friday! And for my new subscribers, welcome to Small Stuff Big Impact, my fortnightly reflections and practical suggestions for action on areas of leadership where small changes can have a big impact. This time, I’m getting curious about curiosity. Let’s dive in…
We live much of our lives on autopilot: a lot of our behaviour happens automatically, without conscious thought, and we are largely unaware of it. On the one hand it is an efficient way to exist. It is what allows our bodies to breathe, process food, renew our cells, grow our hair, stand up etc. without such complex, ongoing tasks rendering us unable to do anything else.
However, it can become problematic. When our autopilot runs too many of our everyday tasks, what we do becomes governed by our assumptions and habits, and we lose the habit of questioning, challenging, learning and being open to new approaches and ideas.
This is where the cultivating a mindset of curiosity comes in handy.
What is curiosity?
The definition of the word curious in the Oxford Dictionary is ‘a strong desire to know or learn something’. The definition is a good starting point, as curiosity encompasses both the knowing/learning element but also, crucially, the desire element. It is about wanting to know more.
The Merriam-Webster definition goes a step further, defining curiosity as ‘an eager desire to learn and often to learn what does not concern’. It’s an interesting addition, suggesting we might need to go beyond what is immediately in front of us, or beyond what others may be trying to show us. This might be why curiosity has not always been seen as helpful or desirable, and why some still resist it today. The association with ‘poking our nose in where it isn’t wanted' hasn’t entirely gone away.
So why is curiosity beneficial then?
Curiosity is useful in a whole variety of ways.
It shifts us away from judgement
When engaging in any kind of reflection, whether about ourselves or someone or something else, curiosity can help steer us away from a judgement of good/bad or right/wrong. From curiosity it simply becomes about asking questions and learning, not having to come dto any sort of conclusion or assessment.
It is the foundation of learning and creativity
Neither we nor the world can move forward without being willing to challenge what we know, and see where we can learn and improve. It’s not about change for change’s sake, but curiosity helps us avoid stagnation, and stop bouncing along in the same rut just because it is familiar.
It builds and deepens relationships
Asking questions and being interested in the answers is a powerful way to connect with other humans. It helps us to feel seen, heard and understood. Being curious about others shows commitment and builds connection and trust.
It helps create a positive relationship to challenge and failure
Curiosity can help us to see challenges and failures as opportunities to learn, not roadblocks or places to stop. This is correlated with the difference between a fixed and growth mindset, as described by Carol Dweck in her book, Mindset.
What does it mean in practice?
A mindset of curiosity starts with a willingness to ask questions and to challenge assumptions. It might include:
Keeping an open mind: be open to learn, unlearn, and relearn.
Trying not to take things at face value: dig deeper through asking questions.
Relentlessly asking questions: practise using what, why, when, who, where, and how questions.
Choosing to find things interesting rather than boring.
Relating to learning as something fun.
Sourcing information from a wide variety of sources, including those you might not normally use.
It can be particularly valuable when undertaking self reflection and seeking to build self-awareness. I wrote about how to build this skill, particularly in relation to our micro-interactions, in Do Sweat the Small Stuff.
“I invite you to build this skill from curiosity rather than judgement. In other words: ask questions of yourself; explore what emerges in your answers; be interested but neutral about the information that comes to you from others.
Asking: ‘How might this micro-interaction impact others?’ is a place of curiosity and learning. In contrast, asking: ‘What am I doing wrong in my micro-interactions?’ is a place of judgement that will not leave you feeling good about yourself.”
How do you practice curiosity? And where do you struggle?
Join the conversation and leave a comment below.
Sweating the Small Stuff
This week: Ask more questions.
Look for opportunities to be curious. Practise asking more and different questions. Try more open than closed questions, in other words, avoid those with a yes/no answer. If you need some inspiration, just remember this:
“I keep six honest serving men, They taught me all I knew; Their names are What and Why and When, And How and Where and Who.."
Rudyard Kipling
Would you like to work with me?
Whilst I have your attention (if you’ve made it this far…) I have a couple of spaces for individual clients in my coaching practice at the moment. If you, or someone you know, think you might benefit from working with me, get in touch here and let’s chat.
I support those navigating change, whether that is the transition from managing to leading, the move to or establishment in a more senior role, or even changing jobs. I help my clients feel like they’re thriving rather than just surviving, building confidence in how they see themselves, and how they communicate with and lead others.
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Thank you, and see you next time! Next week on “What I’ve been reading”, I’ll share my thoughts on a book I’ve been re-reading recently, Matthew Syed’s Bounce: The Myth of Talent and the Power of Practice.