“I don’t have time...”
Why the problem might not be your workload, but you (and what to do about it)
A client of mine recently shared their calendar with me. When we looked to find a slot – any slot – in the coming month, there was nothing. Not a single pocket of time. Just one back-to-back block of meetings, commitments and tasks stretching into the horizon.
This isn’t someone disorganised or ineffective. Quite the opposite: they are smart, driven, liked and relied upon by a lot of people. And yet, completely unavailable, and completely overwhelmed.
It would be easy to blame external forces – too much work, inefficient colleagues, unrelenting organisational demands. But that would miss something important. Because while external pressures are real, the way we respond to them is ours. And often, the ways we ourselves show up is a big part of the problem.
So this week, I want to look at why we end up with no time, and what we can actually do about it.
“But I’m Too Busy…”
Most of us know the experience of always feeling behind. Of moving from meeting to meeting, juggling endless tasks, and realising that the important thing we meant to get to – the thinking, the planning, the people – got shoved to the back of the queue, again.
You might recognise yourself in one (or more) of these:
You feel constantly stretched, yet don’t know what to drop.
You never have time to think – and feel guilty when you do because something more urgent needs doing.
You’re drawn into everything but have no time for the stuff that really needs you.
Your calendar is full but your value feels diluted.
You never quite catch up, and never quite switch off.
Why do we do this to ourselves?
Let’s be clear: I’m not suggesting the external challenges aren’t real, or unrelenting. However, we have to acknowledge the part we are playing ourselves, as that’s the part we have much more influence over.
There are often several different underlying forces making this happen.
People pleasing in disguise
It can feel good to be needed, to be the person others turn to, to be “in the room” and always know what’s going on. We quietly glorify it. But over time, this plays out as yes to everything, which ultimately serves no one. It dilutes your attention, slows everything down, and leaves no space for your actual priorities.
Fear of discomfort
Saying no creates a moment of awkwardness. So instead of asking “Why am I being invited to this?” or “Do I need to be here?”, we assume if someone asks, we must say yes. We fear being seen as obstructive, we worry we’ll offend someone. And so, we avoid the no – and say yes to one more thing.
The myth of ‘getting everything done’
Many of us still carry the quiet assumption that if we just work hard enough, we’ll clear the decks. But the decks never clear: the inbox is a bottomless pit, and the to-do list refills itself daily. So trying to ‘do it all’ just leads to self-imposed pressure and inevitable failure.
Unclear priorities
Without clear filters, everything feels equally urgent. And if everything matters, nothing does. We get pulled by whoever shouts loudest, instead of choosing what deserves our best time and attention.
“It’s quicker if I just do it”
There’s a well-meaning instinct to step in and get something done yourself – because delegating to someone else, explaining the task and helping them learn to do it feels slower. And yes, it is slower in the short term. But not delegating is also the exact thing that keeps us stuck in the loop. If you never invest in someone else’s capability, you’ll always be the bottleneck. You don’t build a stronger team that way – you just build a more exhausted version of yourself.
What it’s costing us
Let’s be honest, the cost of living this way is significant, and it creeps up on you. In the short term, the busyness can feel productive. You’re ticking things off, replying quickly, handling volume, getting the dopamine hit of “Done”. You tell yourself it’s just for now. That things will settle down next week. Or next month. Or next quarter. But they don’t.
Because the reality is it never gets quieter unless we choose to make it quieter.
And while we power through, the things that actually require time and intentionality – deep thinking, creativity, strategy, relationships – get quietly downgraded. Thinking time becomes 20 minutes snatched between meetings, or squeezed over lunch. And that’s not enough; our minds need space to transition from reacting to reflecting. That space doesn’t appear unless we deliberately create it.
Relationship time is often the first thing to go. A shortened one-to-one here, a skipped catch-up there. But when those moments of connection are rushed or avoided, the deeper work of leadership simply doesn’t happen. And while the impact might be invisible this week or this month, it builds over time. A year from now and we have a disengaged and frustrated team, or worse, our best people walking out the door.
What can we do about it?
This isn’t about time management hacks, it’s about intentionally choosing where you spend your time and where you put your attention and energy. A few places to start:
Do a calendar audit
Look at the next few weeks in your diary. For every meeting, ask:
Do I need to be in this?
What value am I adding?
Could this be a quick decision or update email instead?
Create a ‘Quit List’
We’re good at adding, poor at subtracting. Review your current commitments and ask:
What’s no longer working?
What could I hand over or shut down?
What am I doing out of habit or obligation rather than impact?
Practise saying “no”
Not just in theory, actually practise. Start small: decline one unnecessary invite, or push back on one unhelpful request. Build the muscle. You’ll find the fear of saying no is usually worse than the reality.
Know – and use – your strengths
Focus your time where you add the most value. That means knowing what you’re good at – and letting go of the idea that you have to be good at everything. Delegate where you can. Say yes to things that fit your strengths. Say no to the rest.
Learn to tolerate some “mess”
When you stop trying to do everything, that means some things will remain un-done. Obvious, yes, but still worth saying, especially for those of us who endlessly strive to complete everything. Learning to tolerate a degree of “mess” – of things that are let slide, of people we disappoint (in the moment) – is essential to reclaiming your time for what really matters.
Your time is one of your most valuable assets, as a human and as a leader. How you spend it tells others what you truly value – far more than what you say. So make sure you’re spending it with intention.
Your time is actually yours – but only if you take ownership of it.
Hit reply or leave a comment to let me know if this is you, and what you’re going to start practising to change it.
Restack
This week, it’s one of my own from January, looking at time and how we use it through Oliver Burkeman’s excellent book: Four Thousand Weeks. Even if you saw it the first time round, it’s worth a revisit.
What if you stopped trying to do everything?
This probably isn’t the book you think it is. Rather than being just one more self-help book full of hacks to make more efficient use of your time, Four Thousand Weeks is a philosophical exploration of our own finitude. That is, given that on average we have about four thousand weeks to live on this planet, how do we want to spend them? What really matt…
Meme of the week
There was only ever one choice for this week… 😂
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